But the majority of the day, not my best.
It was a day wrought with exhaustion, the numbing kind that all the coffee in the world won’t kick, and impatience. And after trying to
bribe encourage big sister that she can, in fact, poop in the toilet, “today’s the day, you can do it, we know you
can do it!” for HOURS-- our frustration hit the wall, climbed on top of it,
and fell off, head first and screaming. Eventually, husband and I caved, allowed the
diaper, and gave each other the silent treatment as we were tired of arguing
about what to do to make this happen.
So, as I said, yesterday felt like a fail. I went to dinner with a good friend (thank goodness) and was able to recharge – thank you Cadillac margarita. As I was driving to and from dinner, the guilt set in. That nagging, awful guilt that tells you that you are a horrible mother, your impatience and lack of energy today ruined your children’s lives, and they will never forget this awful day. That they are surely and most definitely ruined.
It sounds extreme, but that’s mom-guilt. That’s what she does… she makes us believe that we’ve failed simply because we didn’t have it in us for one day. Wonder Mom lost out to being human, and we allowed it to happen.
I am however, familiar with this guilt-- she tries to sneak her way in every day for any reason at all. So I chanted to myself a truth that I know on the way home from dinner: “Today was not a good day. Tomorrow is new. Tomorrow will be better.”
And guess what? It was. Today was just lovely. There weren’t rainbows or unicorns flying over our house, but there might as well have been. Husband let me sleep in, we had a slow morning of books and coffee, and at least 127 Easter egg hunts with the plastic eggs that were collected yesterday, and then we went outside. I washed windows… WASHED WINDOWS. I don’t do that. In the 5 years we’ve lived in this house, today was the first day I have ever washed the outside of our windows *embarrassingly true fact.* Husband mowed, organized the garage, and set up a play set for the girls outside.
|Testing mom's window washing skills.|
And the girls played and got DIRTY. I mean dirt under their fingernails, paint splattered, gravel falling out of onezies kind of dirty. And it was magical.
And after hours of fresh air, filling the dog water bowl with rocks and weeds and what have you, swinging, sliding, and moving gravel to various parts of the backyard, they came inside to a bubble bath. Bubble baths hold their own magic, especially for siblings, I don’t know what it is, but the giggles… the bubbles… it’s euphoric.
Bed time is fast approaching, that may be the true test of the day, but I am chalking this one up to a win. It wasn't a “Pinterest” day, it wasn't creative or adventurous. It was an ordinary wonderful day, spent with my favorite people. And it felt so good.
Yesterday was not a good day. Today was new. Today was better.